In my daily travels to public restrooms, I see way too many people ignoring the sink, both for urinating and for washing. I forgive those who don't urinate there, but the handwashing part? Pretty nasty, considering you then grab the door handle to exit, leaving your cock's epithelial tissue (or maybe some fecal fingerprints) for all to share.
That said, what I saw the other day makes me shake my head in disbelief. This guy shows up at the urinal next to mine. I hear the zipper open, followed by a sigh that could only mean “relief has arrived.” He had a deep, almost pained breathing, like it was taking all his energy to piss. To add to the image in your mind: after (presumably) grabbing his cock and hanging it out, he raised his arm and propped his hand up against the tile wall, and bowed his head. Either he was checking himself out down there or he was really exhausted from going Number One.
What happened next was, um, repulsive? Wall Leaner Guy (my new nickname for him) lifts his head, peels his palm off the wall, moves his hand into position at nostril-level, and starts digging for gold. I thought the incredulous look on my face might have deterred him. But no, he forged ahead. I’m pretty sure he got his finger in up to the second knuckle. He twisted and curled his finger, obviously trying to claw out some well-shaped, slightly crusted fragment of mucous. He eventually succeeded, examining the fruits of his labor before flicking the now-rolled-up booger onto a nearby wall tile.
As he placed his palm back up against the tile, I turned toward my own tile wall, as I could not watch anymore. And I realize there were boogers clinging to the wall in front of me, as well as a few short hairs that could only have come from man-crotch.
You can probably imagine the conclusion I drew at this instant: Wall Leaner Guy is not alone in his strange fetish. And I’m sure you’ve already guessed the next thought I had: He just shoved unknown penis skin cells up his nose.
As I sit here retelling my eyewitness encounter, I’m left with more questions than answers. Did Wall Leaner Guy even realize he picked his nose, or was it an unconscious act? If he did realize it: did he also realize others before him may have done the same, possibly after grabbing their dick, balls, or pubes to free themselves from the sweaty confines of their underwear? And if he realized that, does he actually get off on the fact that he can secretly sniff a man’s junk, sniff it all the way into his lungs, walking around with foreign tubesteak skin buried deep within his body?
Lest you doubt the veracity of this story, just open your eyes next time you’re in the urinal and try counting the crusted boogers and curly hairs. And try not to gag.
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