Ok, first post on the blog. Let's get right to it. Today, I question the need to be reserved when propped up on the porcelain in a public bathroom. It seems that, whenever I walk into a public restroom and there's someone in the stall, things get eerily quiet behind the door.
Not that I'm in there wanting to listen or anything - maybe I just want to piss and be gone. But - wild guess here - the guy is in there to knock off some dingleberries, not check his BlackBerry. So why is it that people pucker up when someone else enters? It's not like I'm gonna look under the door to see what shoes you're wearing, and then hunt you down later to ask what you ate the day before.
So this brings me to my most recent trip to the men's room. As I was opening the door, I heard a blast and some water-spalshing. As soon as my footsteps echoed, the sounds stopped. I walked up to the urinal, started the flow, and then let loose with some great gas, with a terrific horn-section sound that can only be achieved while urinating in the stand-up position. This, apparently, was like a wind-blown invite to the stall-dweller, that read something like "You're cordially invited to join the cacophony of colon-induced auditory immersion." Not two seconds after my rip, this guy let loose with both solids and gases (and maybe some liquids?) that I was truly in awe of. I'm convinced he needed to wipe from the outside-in, just to clean up the backsplash.
So, I urge you to do your part, and help those too timid to fly free: Break the ice (and wind), and help start the bathroom conversation.
